I avoided laundry for a few weeks and had no choice but to wear the ugly underwear at the bottom of my drawer. You know what I’m talking about. The ripped lace, the holey cotton, the tacky cherry print thong, the granny panties. None of which say “I am sexy,” “I feel sexy” and most importantly, “sex me, baby”. 

So, as I sorted my laundry and hoped no one would see my god awful panties, I decided that they needed to go. No more snug panties that I never got around to returning, no more faded polka dots, good bye once red now pink thong. I purged my underwear drawer and threw all those disheveled undergarments out. I must admit that it was difficult. I guess I figured having a ridiculous amount of underwear, even ugly underwear, is better than not. Wrong! I want sexy underwear, even when I don’t feel sexy. Especially when I don’t feel sexy

However, I could not and would not throw out the very pair I hate the most and always make fun of: tacky pink booty shorts that have stripped sprawled across the back like a makeshift tramp stamp. Oh yeah, and they were purchased at a Christina Aguilera concert a bazillion years ago

Yes, I kept them. A girl’s gotta remember where she’s been and where she’s goin’.

So, to say I had an incredible weekend wouldn’t do it justice.

I was by swept off my feet by the most adorable blue eyed Australian. My friend and I met him at The View. We sat down at the bar he offered to buy us a drink and everything took off from there. We drank martinis, talked, laughed and grabbed a cab so we could continue our night in North Beach at one of my favorite bars(Bamboo Hut!). A few martini’s and one Volcano Bowl later and we were having the best time.

• To make things better, I was talking to the bartender and was gushing about how much I loved the bar and even gave it a great Yelp review. Well, he knew exactly which review was mine and recognized me from my review and hooked it up with a free Volcano Bowl! By this point we were practically best friends. We all stayed after hours and drank, talked and laughed until we stumbled out sometime after 4am. Sheesh.

So, back to the Australian. He was trying to convince me last night to drop everything and fly out to Australia with my friends that are going next week. He offered to pay for half and asked me about it again today. I considered it. I know it would be incredible and am kind of pissed with myself that I’m not doing it. 

We then made out in the bathroom and he made me promise I would meet him in the lobby of his hotel the next day so we could spend the day together. I did. He said he would be waiting. He was.

We had the best day and I am so glad I went because it was etter than I ever could have imagined. The sun was shining and the weather was sweet; we ate, walked, talked, kissed, laid on the grass. It was so great it was ridiculous. We had the best time. I’m seeing him tomorrow before he leaves and I will admit I am kind of sad. 

The only down side is that he smokes. That is my number one no no. Go figure.

I don’t know what the heck is happening or when my life turned into an HBO television series but I am going to take full advantage of it and enjoy.

Last night some friends and I decided to go to a bar downtown. While the four of us were on the MUNI an insanely gorgeous man, who was literally tall, dark and handsome got on and took a seat facing us. He looked like he belonged on Mad Men. With his his thick hair, fitted suit and striking good looks we couldn’t help but take notice of this fine fine creature.

Somehow a conversation about boils and orange mucous began. In front of him.

He listened. He laughed. He was amused. We were mortified.

Our stop came too soon. We exited and laughed hysterically as we climbed the stairs to the street.

He was gorgeous. I’m still wondering why the hell we got off that MUNI.