I avoided laundry for a few weeks and had no choice but to wear the ugly underwear at the bottom of my drawer. You know what I’m talking about. The ripped lace, the holey cotton, the tacky cherry print thong, the granny panties. None of which say “I am sexy,” “I feel sexy” and most importantly, “sex me, baby”. 

So, as I sorted my laundry and hoped no one would see my god awful panties, I decided that they needed to go. No more snug panties that I never got around to returning, no more faded polka dots, good bye once red now pink thong. I purged my underwear drawer and threw all those disheveled undergarments out. I must admit that it was difficult. I guess I figured having a ridiculous amount of underwear, even ugly underwear, is better than not. Wrong! I want sexy underwear, even when I don’t feel sexy. Especially when I don’t feel sexy

However, I could not and would not throw out the very pair I hate the most and always make fun of: tacky pink booty shorts that have stripped sprawled across the back like a makeshift tramp stamp. Oh yeah, and they were purchased at a Christina Aguilera concert a bazillion years ago

Yes, I kept them. A girl’s gotta remember where she’s been and where she’s goin’.