Hey guys, holiday hangover is here! You know, all the feelings you get after the hype, food, booze and gatherings have passed. When you find yourself back in your apartment wondering how you are going to get that tree out and and how you are going to ween yourself off of sugar. Well that is what is happening right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a fantastic weekend. The icing on the cake was my aunt asking about my love life and then slipping me a Victoria’s Secret gift card during the gift exchange. 

On to the New Year!

I’m in a weird holiday funk. I usually get in a funky mood around this time. This year it’s not so bad but I’m definitely walking a fine line. For me, it begins with the anticipation and nostalgia and then crashes with melancholy and a not so subtle holiday hangover. Please tell me I am not alone.

Anyway, I have a few days to fly under the radar until the festivities begin. 

Oh yeah, and then there is this gem. 

I’

Tonight as I was gathering my last load from laundromat I was also listening to a conversation between the only other two people in the room.

They were standing right next to the machines I was using so I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation. While eavesdropping I came to the conclusion that it was a date or possibly even a craigslist encounter. It was really awkward. The guy commented on how the woman looked different from her picture. Then they started talking and getting to know each other. Strange thing is that they weren’t doing laundry. I think I saw him take something out of the dryer but then he asked her if she was ready to leave and they walked out. 

I work in the Civic Center/Tenderloin area which is never short of surprises. One evening after work I was people watching while was waiting for the 21 Hayes at Van Ness. I accidently made eye contact with a with a crazy man across the street which prompted him to point and then run across the street towards me. I turned my head and was fully prepared to ignore him but he still kicked the bus stop and then pointed at me and called me a “stupid fucking bitch” before casually walking away. 

Another guy walked up to the bus stop with a quizzical look on his face which made me feel less awkward, obviously. 

I avoided laundry for a few weeks and had no choice but to wear the ugly underwear at the bottom of my drawer. You know what I’m talking about. The ripped lace, the holey cotton, the tacky cherry print thong, the granny panties. None of which say “I am sexy,” “I feel sexy” and most importantly, “sex me, baby”. 

So, as I sorted my laundry and hoped no one would see my god awful panties, I decided that they needed to go. No more snug panties that I never got around to returning, no more faded polka dots, good bye once red now pink thong. I purged my underwear drawer and threw all those disheveled undergarments out. I must admit that it was difficult. I guess I figured having a ridiculous amount of underwear, even ugly underwear, is better than not. Wrong! I want sexy underwear, even when I don’t feel sexy. Especially when I don’t feel sexy

However, I could not and would not throw out the very pair I hate the most and always make fun of: tacky pink booty shorts that have stripped sprawled across the back like a makeshift tramp stamp. Oh yeah, and they were purchased at a Christina Aguilera concert a bazillion years ago

Yes, I kept them. A girl’s gotta remember where she’s been and where she’s goin’.

These are awesome and completely true! Here is the link!

When should you make out with someone? Whenever you want to! But also:

1. Because he or she is really hot, and you can forsee telling your friends “Oh, we made out once.” with extreme pride.

2. Because the conversation isn’t actually that interesting. (Or because it’s so interesting that you could just kiss them.)

3. Because they smell really, really good.

4. Because if you wanna know how he loves you so? It’s in his kiss.

5. Because you actually believe in your friend’s ability to not be weird about it the next day.

6. Because you think they might be famous one day, and want to make out with them just in case.

7. Because they’re moving away and you’re never, ever going to see them again.

8. Because you happen to know your ex is on a date right now.

9. Because you had a huge crush on them in high school, and your 15 year-old self wouldn’t want you to squander the opportunity.

10. Because you had a few drinks, and you’re feeling happy, flirty, and bold.

11. Because you feel like making out with someone, and they are someone.

12. Because you just need to remind yourself that you can make it happen.

13. Because he or she just put the absolute best song on the jukebox/beat you at darts/ordered a whiskey neat/is wearing a Battlestar Gallactica T-shirt.

14. Because you’re a really good kisser, and when you have a talent you should share it with the world.

15. Because you just had the best date of your life, and think this might be the start of something serious.